Futility feels futile and… that feels good!


I’m feeling a lot of futility for some things these days. The futility itself feels… futile. But the result of the futile-feeling futility actually feels quite good. It’s freeing. “Wow, this thing, this… This thing is futile!”

Imagine if everything in the world were sososososo serious and so goshdarn meaningful. The pressure! That would be the ultimate futility.

So, futility itself feels futile, and that is a sucky feeling, but in it (or around it? with it? alongside it?), overall, there is a nice feeling.

So, at first I had written a post about the “right to misery.” But then I concluded: Actually, such a post is futile and its being futile is… excellent!

The core message of the post was that I misinterpreted the “wanna do what I like more and more, all the time” feeling. It’s good that I haven’t announced on Sponge yet, what I thought I was gonna do for the new schedule. I think I tried to compensate for the futility of some things with the idea of “more in amount” and “more frequently.” And I do like the audio production aspect, which created more misinterpretation. I doubt that Sponge listeners and blog readers overlap… at all. So, I doubt anybody will be confused or annoyed by the old schedule supposedly changing to the new schedule and then that not happening and instead Sponge probably going away. I have no idea who listens to Sponge.

As to the posts here: I’m fairly certain that people who read this blog are used to Ithaka blah-blahing about this and that.

I’m gonna make the necessary decisions around Sponge and nonfiction-in-general before my trip. The nonfiction-in-general decision will shift over time, but it’s useful to give the POV something to focus on, if you want a particular area of your life to not go too freely on autopilot. This is what I used to call “the vertex.”