Looking outside is not the solution. I am gradually (fully, sort of?) understanding that everything comes from me.

I used to feel pure guilt. Meanwhile, the present (ish) state of “everything comes from me” isn’t “merely” guilt. It’s not “everything comes from me” in the sense that I caused pain and suffering all by myself. I don’t have that kind of power over other people.

The present “everything comes from me” state is more like… Ah, I don’t know how to explain. Maybe I’m just not there yet. At any rate, it’s less looking outward, more looking inward.

And even when talking to someone else (external entity!), I look inward. And there, I find that “someone else.” In the end, the “else” was no “other.” The else was me.