Only by feeling abandonment can you feel love.
But usually what happens is that people try to avoid feeling abandoned. They will make up all kinds of excuses to redefine abandonment (ex: what happened to me isn’t abandonment because x, y, z. Or, what I did to that person isn’t abandonment because x, y, z). And/or they will mask the feeling of abandonment with guilt, fury, shame, anxiety, numbness, or a productivity craze (any to-do list to “solve” the problem, basically).
The problem with all such excuses and masking is again, that only by feeling abandonment can you feel love.
By avoiding acknowledgment of feeling abandonment, one ends up making excuses or masking love as well.
For example, when someone tells you that they love you, instead of feeling loved, what you end up feeling will be guilt, fury, shame, anxiety, numbness, or a to-do list that will continue to “qualify” you to be loved. You may make up excuses to avoid being loved. (!) (ex: “Surely they didn’t mean what they said. They just said they love me, to make me feel better.”)
Moreover, when you tell someone that you love them, instead of actually loving them, you’ll treat them with guilt, fury, shame, anxiety, numbness, or a to-do list, or a bunch of excuses. For example, instead of simply loving the person you claim to love, you will start by giving them a list of what won’t work. You may tell them a bunch of passive-aggressive threats, accompanied by the excuse that you want to give them a fair warning. You may tell them to leave you now rather than later. Even worse (or even funnier, according to Nebelung!), later on when they finally believe your fair warnings and leave, you might wonder (or claim to wonder) why the other person couldn’t think of anything but the end of the love that you claimed.
All this to say, again: only by feeling abandonment can you feel love.
Things come in pairs.
The same principles work with ability & inability, worth & worthlessness, sensitivity & numbness, etc.
In other words: there are no “problem” feelings; the only problem is the resistance against certain feelings.