Unconditional self-love summary.


According to her, no one can love you except you. No one else can love you through joy and sorrow, “good” and “bad,” triumph and failure, “right” and “wrong.”

Do not look outside of yourself for love. The only person who will stay throughout all that, with you, is you.

Love yourself as is. Do not ever demand from yourself another version. Stay with the present version of you, unconditionally.

  • When you feel sad: do not attempt to change; accept.
  • When you feel furious: do not attempt to change; accept.

Do not try to chase away some emotions, to make place for others. Recognize all of them as the jewels that they are.

The result: even as your sad self, you can be loved; even as your furious self, you can be loved.

This is giving yourself a special kind of hug. Only you can give yourself this kind of hug, one that leaves not a single mm of space between the hugger and huggee.

Leave yourself be.

Do not lie to yourself. If you hate yourself, hate yourself instead of pretending you don’t hate yourself. Don’t say something is all right if it isn’t all right. You may fool others that way, but you cannot fool yourself. (Unless you are really very used to fooling yourself… in which case, you may need to get your own trust, first.)

By leaving yourself be, you will cease to suppress emotions. (=cease piling up garbage in your subconscious basement.)

By “garbage,” note that it doesn’t mean something that follows the notions of the material world. (ex: moral “wrongs” aren’t automatically garbage. Garbage, in this case, is simply anything that is suppressed.

Suppress nothing. Unconditional love requires a total absence of fear.